My once upon a time poems
by impureevilregal
Summary: A collection of all the poems I'm writing for Once Upon a Time from this point onward. Enjoy!
1. If only

I'm in a daze  
it's getting late.  
Claw my way through.  
I must look for the thing I have forgotten most.  
If only I could remember what it was.

I'm confused.  
It's dark outside.  
Just like in my soul.  
I can't find where I'm supposed to go.  
The only thing here is a gaping hole.

I was so foolish.  
I though I could have a happy ending.  
But I was wrong.  
And now it is to late for me.

I'm in a daze.  
So confused.  
I don't know where to go.  
In my heart,  
I close my eyes.

At last I understand my path.  
I remember.  
The person I once was.  
She's the key to breaking this cage I made.  
If only I could find her.

If only.


	2. heartache

My heart is wounded,  
soon I will die.  
But I do not mind,  
for at least it's back inside.

So long I've been without it,  
I barely remember how it works,  
but now I can feel it.  
I can feel the hurt.

I can feel the remorse,  
I can feel the regret,  
it hurts deep inside,  
but I do not mind.  
For it is my conscience,  
for once back inside.

I can feel the love,  
so long I've gone without.  
Oh what have I done to her though?  
My darling Regina,  
I see now.

I never loved her,  
at least not before,  
and finally it is rushing in,  
I can finally believe in her.

But now it is late,  
the clock is striking twelve,  
and then I fall.  
Maybe she didn't love me after all.

**A poem from Cora's point of view about what she felt after getting her heart back. The last line is in reference to the fact that Regina was the one that put the heart back in, and Cora ended up assuming that Regina had done it on purpose because she was fearful for Henry's life. Just a little headcannon. **

**As usual, I own nothing.**


	3. Queen of Nothing

She wears her crown upon her head,  
sitting by her apple tree.  
No one else to be found,  
her only place of peace.  
The place of solitude,  
the only place she belongs  
the apple tree that she'd had since she was young.

A prisoner to the palace,  
it never really belonged.  
Yet here it was.  
Sitting there caged.  
Not where it was born to be.  
Sitting in her place of solitude.

A small smile rests on her lips,  
as she picks the fruit from the tree.  
She doesn't want to leave this place.  
It's her only joy.  
The only place where she can forget.  
She can pretend in these moments  
that her loss at never hit.

The crown upon her heads sits like a weight,  
she's supposed to be queen,  
but she knows it's just a trick.  
She's the queen of nothing.  
Can't even control herself.

The wind blows through the tree,  
whispering through the leaves.  
It is serenity.  
But soon it will fade,  
just like the love she has lost.  
And she will go back again.  
Her heart still broken.

The queen of nothing.


	4. Enough

I wonder if I'll be enough.  
Wonder if I'm true.  
If I'm right.  
I'm Evil.

Wonder if it's enough.  
falling to my knees.  
Imperfection.  
Never be enough.

If it's enough.  
Show me know.  
My failures are devouring my heart  
little more every hour.  
I can't believe.

It's enough.  
You've showed me that now.  
I don't want to be them.  
I am myself.  
Regina Mills.

Enough.  
I was enough.  
Keeping myself by my side.  
The evil Queen caster of endless night.  
She is me.  
My imperfection.  
And I'm not throwing her away.


	5. No amount

I'm lost, will you find me?  
Because I can't find myself.  
Endless amounts of suffering.  
Pain that I have caused.  
Under my skin,  
a monster lays in wait.  
Destroy everything of love.

It will never be enough,  
no amount of suffering cast upon me.  
The evil queen's accursed reign  
all amounts of suffering.  
They visit me.  
Nightmares of all kinds,  
delight in my pain every night.

No amount is enough.  
Every amount I have caused.  
Lost in endless disaster.  
A swirling storm inside.  
Perfect mess.  
Help me, I'm a monster.


	6. Neverending

Man of the sea,  
pirate between realms,  
the man with only one hand.  
His other arm ended in a hook.

He knew true love's touch,  
but then it was lost,  
And it made him bitter.  
He was bitter.

He did horrid deeds,  
Killed many men,  
did his very best to get his revenge.  
Rumplestiltskin, the dark one,  
cause of his pain.  
Killian wanted his death to bring.

Hundreds of years,  
never aging at all.  
Living on Neverland,  
the land forbidden to adults.  
A pirate, a thief,  
searching for his end.

Searching for a dagger,  
a way to kill the dark one,  
he didn't care about anyone else.  
Not anyone but himself.  
As he searched for revenge.

A man of the ocean,  
sailing the seas,  
ever floating in his vessel,  
never winning,  
never ending.

Just a pirate of the seas.


	7. On and On

Nothing is normal here  
Even the cement has seen magic's curse,  
created by a heart,  
ripped out in vengeance's name.  
Cold hard heart,  
cold hard ground,  
where is what you know now?

Every single day it's the same,  
the same leaves fall,  
the same people smile,  
and the same ones weep.  
The cement never breaks,  
it never changes.  
Created by cold blood,  
never changing,  
simply going on and on.

A curse was cast,  
and here they are now  
trapped in the same world.  
Day after day,  
still the same,  
on and on,  
waiting for cracks in the cement on the ground.

But they never come.


	8. then invent something

There's an invention for everything,  
something that gives light without fire,  
a way to move without a horse,  
something that amplifies your song.  
But there is nothing here that I really need,  
I can't find it anywhere.  
Not here, and not back home.

I want a way to stop my magic,  
a way to take away this curse,  
it gives me so much,  
it controls so much,  
I don't like it,  
I want it gone.

But this world has nothing for it.  
They don't think it exists,  
oblivious to the pain,  
and to the sacrifice.  
They have addictions sure,  
but they aren't the ones that take away your soul.

So why is there no cure for this madness?  
Something should have been invented,  
the curse gave me happiness,  
I would have it again,  
if only I didn't have to use magic to get it.

I used to think it so good,  
but I was reviled for it.  
At first I didn't care,  
but it has destroyed me,  
and there is no place to go.

For I still harbor it,  
deep inside my soul.  
Even if it isn't used,  
it's still there, isn't it?  
I still takes away my being,  
and I can't find a way back from it.


	9. The veil

Look at that smile,  
the perfectly created mask.  
It hides the hurt girl inside,  
a veil of evil protects her,  
so that she is not damaged.

She used to be whole,  
but then she broke,  
shattered like glass,  
she couldn't quite hide the cracks.  
Or glue them together again.

Now she dances dirt,  
she dances it into the snow,  
hoping to turn it brown,  
and even black if she's lucky,  
so then it can be;  
_Just. Like. Her. _

Every day it's the same,  
cruel words like knives and swords,  
the veil never taken off.  
She's long forgotten who she used to be,  
all she is now is the evil queen.

As she clings to what can not be,  
and tries to fill the hole  
it only grows bigger,  
and then it consumes all.  
Until all that's left is a veil,  
and some dirt that hadn't yet been danced into the snow.


	10. Dear Henry

Dear Henry,  
how have you been?  
I never see you anymore,  
it's been so long that you've been gone  
I wish you would come back to me.  
Of course you won't,  
I know that now.  
I'm only the evil queen.

Dear Henry,  
Did you have a fun birthday?  
I know I wasn't invited,  
but that's okay I understand.  
You didn't want me to ruin it,  
I've never been good at parties.  
Your Grandparents wedding is proof of that.

Dear Henry,  
did you know that I love you?  
It's been forever since I've seen you last,  
you haven't let me in,  
and I've never pushed.  
I don't mind though,  
I did the same thing to my mother.  
It is only fitting after all.

Henry,  
i'm sorry that I came,  
I missed you too much,  
being without you so long caused great pain.  
I know I've disturbed you,  
I shouldn't have come.  
I just hoped that you would miss me,  
your first Mother's love.  
But it's okay,  
I understand.  
This won't happen again.

Dear Mom,  
Did you know that I still love you?  
I'm sorry that I shut you out.  
I was confused  
but I know better now.  
You aren't the evil queen,  
at least you aren't to me.  
You are my mother,  
please come back to me.

Dear Mom,  
why haven't you answered my calls?  
I hope that everything's alright,  
though I believe it might not be so.  
Why aren't you answering?  
Don't you love me still?  
Or have you moved on  
like everyone told me you would?

Dear Mom,  
Do you know that I miss you?  
I'm a teenager now,  
4 years since I've seen you last,  
yet I can't seem to forget.  
Emma's been taking care of me,  
and I love her too.  
Still I hope that you will come back to me,  
I miss you.

Mom,  
what happened to you?  
I came to check myself,  
to long it's been since we've last met,  
and I understand it now.  
you were sleeping,  
you didn't think that you would ever wake,  
a curse designed out of pure hate.  
Why did you do it?

Dear Henry,  
I'm sorry that you see me like this,  
if it is really you.  
I hope it doesn't hurt to much,  
but I didn't want to bother you.  
I know that you don't love me anymore,  
but I couldn't quite bear it.  
Maybe one day I will wake up again,  
but still... I doubt it.


	11. With all my heart

I gave my heart away,  
I did it with my all.  
I let myself believe in happy endings,  
well look where we are now.  
See the darkness everywhere?  
No light here,  
my soul gone.  
Darkened until it simply left,  
taking my heart with it.

Can you remember what it was like?  
Before I decided to strike,  
before I destroyed it all?  
Because I can't.  
I don't remember what it was like,  
living in the light.  
What was it like without taint?  
Still having a whole heart.

This place is empty.  
Just the same thing again.  
The evil queen's happy ending.  
But even then it doesn't exist.  
No happy endings,  
no true loves kiss.  
Just another brush of darkness,  
the night's tender touch.

I'm drowning in it I think,  
though I'm not quite sure.  
How can I be,  
if I don't remember what I was before?  
I loved and I lost,  
but I did it all true.  
It was with all my heart,  
that my life was ruined.


	12. Long live

I see no light,  
not anywhere around me.  
There are no candles,  
no nothing,  
_can't keep out the night. _  
Just me all alone,  
with shards of glass,  
scattered around me  
_it is coming.  
_Broken like the dreams I once held dear.

What was it like?  
Back when there was still light,  
and I wasn't this void  
_Getting closer  
_where all good things die?  
What was it like when I wasn't trapped,  
stuck in my own trap filled with regret.  
_Almost here. _

Here I am.  
You see here the end of me,  
as I hold onto my broken dreams  
_I can feel it's touch  
_the end of all that is dear,  
the end of my sanity,  
the very hope I once held crumbling.  
_As it enters my soul  
_I crumble along with it.  
How was I complete to begin with?  
Wandering with no direction,  
_and then I die  
_a hole that can't be filled.  
Instead of a heart a black piece of coal.  
Air where my soul should be.  
_Long live The Evil Queen. _


	13. Come in

Come in, come in  
I have nothing more to hide,  
at least from you,  
the one who destroyed my life.  
We've known each other from the beginning,  
and now it's nearing the end.  
It only seems fitting  
that you be the one who watches my death.

I have plans,  
and they will work this time.  
Though they rarely ever do work,  
this one just might.  
Fate seems intent on causing me pain,  
and so I give into it's wishes.  
So come in my enemy,  
and rejoice.  
For I will plague you no more.

You know this is your fault, right?  
You did this to me.  
I let you in,  
I let you enter,  
and then you told my secret,  
you told my mother,  
and turned the universe against me.

But it's okay.  
Because was going to happen anyways.  
So come right in,  
like you did all those years before,  
because my dear Snow,  
the show's about to begin,  
and I don't want you to miss it.


	14. The beating of my darkened heart

My heart beats quickly,  
a reminder that I still have it.  
A good thing to,  
for I long had forgotten about it.  
Such a strange thing knowing.  
A strange thing knowing that I have a heart.  
Though the people think otherwise,  
I know better.

It is a pleasant sound,  
the pounding against my chest,  
a darkened piece of coal,  
to compliment my dress.  
For that is what my heart is now,  
I am confident of that.  
How could it be anything else,  
when I am the mistress of death?

I am glad that I have it,  
to know what I've lost.  
Without the dark heart,  
I would be lost.  
I need it with me,  
always by my side,  
for without it I have no anger,  
and I need my vengeance on Snow White.

It beats on,  
still inside my chest.  
I think it will remain there forever.  
A way to fill the void,  
the endless hours,  
silence around the room.  
Those periods of time  
where no one talks,  
and no one whispers.  
Silence.  
Complete silence.

The life without sound gives you time to think.  
Without the noise,  
you can concentrate.  
Hours of silence,  
with only your thoughts.  
Thoughts of death and darkness,  
and plots of vengeance.  
Only the darkest for the most evil of minds.  
For that is what I am.

I am evil,  
but it's okay,  
because my heart is back,  
and I don't have to think.  
I can live in my insanity,  
and try for happiness.  
My dear stepdaughter's head,  
will sit on a platter.  
I want that so much,  
I can not even think,  
but the beating of my darkened heart,  
it soothes me.

Perhaps I shouldn't kill her right away.  
Maybe I should take her heart,  
lock her away.  
No one to talk to,  
and nothing to do.  
Only her thoughts,  
which will turn to hate,  
and make her cruel.  
Oh dear stepdaughter,  
I can barely wait.

Revenge is upon us,  
and with it: the end to your legacy.


	15. You soon shall meet

Listen closely, do you hear her arrival? It is coming ever quicker, an end to the beginning, a finality to this fairytale that has gone on far to long. It is perfect timing, for you see; I was about to strike back. You almost missed it but you are right on time. My crown is on my head once more. Soon, you Snow White, will be a pile of dust on the floor. Listen closely. She is almost here. The evil one is coming. A sorceress that all have feared. You know her, and you know her well. The Queen who is evil. Of course, you think that I am her, don't you? Oh yes, you do. Poor fool. I almost regret it. Almost. You destroyed me, but I'm still here. Regina still lives on. But she is dying, an empty shell with a darkened heart. Oh look, I am her aren't I? I've nearly forgotten. It is probably better that way. Soon she will be dead once and for all, and I will be the only one left. Right now I, no we are two. But soon it will just be me. Soon I will be only one. And you have a front row seat. Here, it is coming. Your destruction. A life on endless misery. The evil queen you soon shall meet, watch out, she's deadly. 


	16. Say goodbye

I died when you did, so long ago. 40 years have passed since that night in the stables. I loved you more than myself Daniel. You were my all. But now you are gone, once and for all. For 40 years I have been a zombie, trying to come back to life. I tried to succeed. I tried to bring you back. True love was all that I had left, even then. Until that was gone to. I tried to bring you back; I tried so hard that I thought the effort would kill me. Not that it did, nothing is ever so simple as that for me. The longing for you once more grew stronger, and so did my need for revenge. Until it finally consumed me, and there was nothing left. That girl I used to be was gone. I was, and am, no longer the one that you loved. So now that you've said it, it is time to do what I've long postponed. Finally it is time for me to say goodbye. I will do as you asked me, I will find love again. And soon I will be happy, just as you asked. Still I know, it won't be the same. You are still in me Daniel. You aren't going away. Though the evil queen was hated, she still loved. Just as I love. Just as I love you. Goodbye Daniel. I will always love you. 


End file.
